i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She told me I should be a condom model.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
