so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
