She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
ttyl tear gas
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
