Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
