If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It's just like the Real World with babies
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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