She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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