I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
