I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
