i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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