Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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