its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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