My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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