he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
