Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I fill condoms, not promises.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
