what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He? As in you personified your dick?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
