We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
