I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
