I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
