I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
