Ketchup is God's man juice
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
