But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there was a trapeze. enough said
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I believe in your delicious
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
