She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
