god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
