Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
