Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He passed out mid-signature
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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