evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
