I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
