My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My life is pants optional.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
