Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
