i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
