Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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