Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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