Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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