idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
