I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
