Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
