were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
