there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
