umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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