I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
