went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
