dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
