I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
