I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
