I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
