This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
