my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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