yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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