I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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