You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
