his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
