So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
